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Game Journalism lols

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1 Game Journalism lols on Sun Sep 17, 2017 10:47 am


This has to be seen to be believed, and even then you probably wont.

This cannot be defended.

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2 Re: Game Journalism lols on Mon Sep 18, 2017 3:18 am

I take issue of how making games 'accessible' means dumbing them down for those who don't care to actually improve their performance in games. The first thing that comes up in discussions of making games accessible is making them easy and lowering the skill ceiling, I say making games accessible is a much more thoughtful matter.
I'd say firstly have custom controls and options for multiple controllers since then one can make their preferred control setup, since controls are just a means to interface with a game, everyone has their own control preferences, so it shouldn't have to get to the point where devs have to be pressured by actual disabled folk to have custom controls, since your still crippling players by not allowing their prefered control options available. This should be the universal game standard, unless it's QWOP or octodad where the awkward unintuitive controls are the point then all games should have them period.

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3 Re: Game Journalism lols on Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:09 am


Ok. But let's just make fun of these idiots.

The defense squad for this particular guy is hilarious. Their arguments are so weak I have trouble quantifying just how much. Of course you should be good at games if you want to state facts but all they do is list anything they couldnt beat/figure out as 'flaws' or bad design. Even on the most basic level, they are incapable of learning how something works. Incapable of asking themselves if they're doing something wrong.

It's easy to call detractors 'butthurt fanboys' in the comments, but that doesnt say anything. Remember the God Hand IGN review? Not long after that the same guy wrote an article something like 'Apparently Im an asshole because God Hand sucks'.

Incapable of, for even a second, considering anything else. Sadly this behaviour is widespread. The inmates are running the asylum, as they say.

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4 Re: Game Journalism lols on Mon Sep 18, 2017 6:35 am

Haha ok. The problem with the incompetent is that they tend to be ignorant of their own incompetence, which is very dangerous. You have to be exceptionally poor at common sense and basic learning processes to fail at something as simple as cuphead, which is modelled after run n gun arcade games. Back in the arcade days you would walk up to a cabinet and just play the damn thing, usually they are super simple like rail shooters where you literally just point onscreen to shoot and offscreen to reload, many had demos that showed the controls and gameplay.
It baffles me as how old are some of these guys? You think they would have played a game like cup head before, nes/snes days you usually had a game or two and they usually kicked your arse but you would keep playing and persevere.

Also statistically most who play games don't finish them, like about 90-95%, so it's highly likely these reviewers don't even finish the games they review. I genuinely struggle to comprehend their mindset it's so eldritch to me. Also most humans would rather blame other factors than themselves.

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5 Re: Game Journalism lols on Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:44 am

There was a pretty big talk about this on gamefaqs as well, and I am a bit on the 'both sides' front. To say journalists need to be sick gamers is a bit of a stretch (I think it would make their writing more niche (like mine) if anything). But they should at least be competent and, for a review, see what the game has to offer. God Hand's review (and Ninja Gaiden 3's too) are infamous for the reviewer not getting past the first freak'n stage.

"Ninja Gaiden 3 is all cities, which can get a bit boring at times" was part of the original NG3 review, of which only the first stage was a city. Good job IGN. That said as we covered before, sometimes you can't blame them in terms of deadlines. It's why I like magazine reviews the best as they get plenty of time to finish and review a title.

Also that video of Cuphead....dear god man. That was a pain to watch. "JUMP ON THE DAMN PLATFORM" was all I was thinking. I've also had this when seeing the original 'demo playthrough' of Metal Gear Rising at e3. Literally all the player did was mash Blade Mode; so he would stand in front of an enemy and just use blademode cutting even if he was without fuel. He stated 'combat feels really stiff, no block and dodge or regular attack or anything'. Guy didn't know you could attack normally at all, he just used Blade Mode exclusively. I swear some people... it's like watching DSPgaming play at times.

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6 Re: Game Journalism lols on Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:06 am


Yeah I should have mentioned I'm only targeting a certain type though sadly they're the majority and have become normalized.

I'm definitely not asking them to be god action game players. What gets me, is how they know NOTHING and still state their claims as fact.

Your MGR example is perfect and that type of shit is what's happening at the top, fueling those garbage, weighted Metacritic scores that even developers fear and cater to.

A simple set of guidelines would work wonders even under deadlines. I could easily play any action game for less than an hour and come up with all kinds of good shit and tell you exactly how it plays, and even then, I would search for good players and see what they're saying before claiming anything. It's not that hard. But these idiots would rather just basically transfer their barely functional motor skills and lack of knowledge to paper.

I have read ENDLESS reviews on all the games I play, which is a lot over the years. And EVERY SINGLE ONE has a legion of reviewers spouting crap that is 100% untrue. Just claims based on the limits of the player, no ability to learn even the basics, stupid, or just plain liars.

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7 Re: Game Journalism lols on Mon Sep 18, 2017 11:05 am

It gets really frustrating when reading a review and either not knowing what the hell it's about or knowing the title and thinking "did you even play it". I still recall a Dutch magazine review of Resident Evil 4 which called the protagonist "Chris". Did... he even play one second of it? Or is he that ignorent I wonder haha.

Downside about looking online for good player insights is that it's really rare for there to be any when the review is written. Still the whole 'my opinion is fact' thing can get really tired I agree. A good article by default should get you interested while still showing the pros and cons, a review should never as a goal have "AVOID THIS TRASH HOLY SHIT" which a lot have.

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8 Re: Game Journalism lols on Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:50 pm


Maybe not for that particular game, but communities and genre experts exist and can easily be located.

It's not only these so called 'pros' but also Youtubers and the general public who are just as bad. I often wonder what the thought process is. It's like while they're playing they think they're the only ones in the world.

They could check after the game is fully out and see what good players have done.

They could leave their review open. What I mean is not state any of their perceived negatives as fact (as they usually aren't, rather they are a product of their rage and shattered egos) but that would require a mirror and their own reflection.

They should be fans of the genre they're writing about. I don't play FPS, racing, or sports games, so I don't go out and tell people shit about them anyway.

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9 Re: Game Journalism lols on Tue Sep 19, 2017 8:58 am

I feel that revisiting a review later-on would be a lot more meaingful, but it would really butcher the metascoring system and we can't have that now can we! Joking aside some sites and outlets do this, to some degree. Edge, whose praise I keep singing, has Time-Extend; a article once a month where they revisit an old game.

One thing that makes it worse is the pressure of time. When a game comes out you need to have your review ready otherwise you're behind the curve and people won't buy it or won't watch your review. And you're better off following the masses otherwise you'll get bad post-launch reactions. Nobody likes loving a game and seeing a 2/10 slapped on something they enjoyed. So it's really out of their hands, a lot of it has to do with the consumer in these cases.

Still a post-review or re-review is really apt. Hell I did it with Nioh, for which I rushed a piece just to get viewers on the hype train that was rolling back then and after that re-reviewed it just because that article was wrong in so many ways haha.

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10 Re: Game Journalism lols on Tue Sep 19, 2017 9:22 am


When a game comes out you need to have your review ready otherwise you're behind the curve and people won't buy it or won't watch your review.

Maybe, but it's more than that. Everything they say is inaccurate, and if the game made them mad, or if they are just plain stupid as they mostly are , they tell outright lies about it. They know what they're doing.

It's actually completely absurd when you think about all this stuff. Like, how it actually works and who is in the position of authority to decide if a game will succeed or fail, and they know it.

Again, some of the worst are the regular critics or random users who flood the internet with their garbage reviews and trolling. They don't have any deadlines and they get extremely hostile when you try to raise anything with them like showing them actual mechanics and videos of good gameplay.

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